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Why is being in the Military like a blowjob?
- The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Why does a blonde eat beans on Saturday?
- So she can take a bubble bath on Sunday.
Did you hear about the terrorists who took a whole courtroom full of lawyers hostage?
- They threatened to release one every hour until their demands where met.
Why don't men eat between meals.
There *IS* no "between" meals.
What have women & condoms got in common? Both spend more time in your wallet than on the end of your cock.
Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
- He knows firsthand the penalty for early withdrawel.
Aging: Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.
How does a drummer's brain cell die?
An old couple are on the beach. The old girl said, "What do you think of my flip-flops?" The old boy replies, "Act your age and put your bikini top back on"

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