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What's the difference between sin and shame?
- It's a sin to put it in, it's a shame to pull it out.
How does a blonde "high-5"?
- A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
- Sue.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
- Make him wear shoes.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
- Made her chain too long.
How many men does it take to replace the toilet roll?
- Don't know, it's never happened.
Aging: Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.
What is the difference between a band director and a chimpanzee?
It's scientifically proven that chimpanzees are able to communicate with humans.
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

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